The Meaning

Jeff Terranova

2009-02-09T06:19:00.000-08:00

This is a very difficult question because there are so many aspects of Hardcore music and the underground Hardcore/Punk scene that are important to me. If I had to break it down, it would have to be quite simply, the music and the message.

As a teenager I was totally attracted to loud, fast, aggressive music. Maybe it was because I was hyperactive or I didn't fit in with the "cool kids" or I had an inner anger that needed to be released and music turned out to be that outlet. Underground metal sucked me in like a magnet back in 1983 with it's loud distorted guitars, pounding drums and bass and fast tempo songs. I didn't pay much attention to the lyrics at first because I was young and was totally pumped by the aggression of the music. As time went on and I started familiarizing myself with bands and songs, I naturally started singing along while driving in the car. There was something cool about being viewed as evil and demonic and a "Metal Head", but it just didn't seem real or heartfelt.

By 1985 I was going to shows and experiencing music from a live perspective. It was all pretty exciting seeing shows at L'amours Brooklyn and The Ritz NYC with all the lights and all of the amplifiers, the smoke machines and the huge crowds headbanging and moshing. By mid 1985 in NYC, metal, punk and hardcore were all crossing over into each other and I was starting to see punk and hardcore bands billed together with the metal bands that I was seeing live. Hardcore/punk music had that same loud distorted guitars, pounding drums and bass and fast tempo songs as metal, but the lyrics actually meant something that I could relate to. Could this be for real I thought, these bands are singing about the same feelings and emotions that I feel and are talking about important political and life issues that I understand and agree with. I started buying Hardcore/Punk albums like Minor Threat, Dag Nasty, Dayglo Abortions, 7 Seconds, Uniform Choice, Circle Jerks, Dead Kennedys, Social Unrest, etc and the lyrics were blowing my mind. No one was singing about Satan and decapitations and ghosts and fantasy, the bands were singing about mankind and brotherhood and politics and having a positive attitude and being good to your fellow man... WOW! Powerful music with a powerful message!

Metal heads at shows were cool and most would say what's up and/or nod at you, or if you had a Slayer shirt on, would yell SLAYER!!!!!! as you walked by, but outside of that there was no real connection. As I started going to Hardcore/Punk shows and meeting kids and other local bands, the vibe was totally different. Everyone was extremely welcoming and I felt like they actually cared to be my friend. In no time metal was fading to the back burner and the Hardcore/Punk scene was my new home.

I can sit here and list bands, records and shows, but what it comes down to is these very bands, records and shows shaped me into the person that I am today. The lyrics saved me from myself and put me on the right path in life. The songs taught me about politics and world events that I normally would have looked right over. The songs taught me that it was okay to be yourself and to forget what others think about you. The songs taught me to think for myself and not to believe everything that I read or heard. But most importantly the songs conveyed a feeling of unity and the sense that anyone with the motivation can be in a band and play shows. Hardcore music gave me an outlet to create my own music and play in bands, record records and travel the world! Hardcore music gave me the opportunity to meet and befriend people from all over the world, some of which have turned out to be my best friends still today! Hardcore music is still just as strong in my heart and soul as it was back in 1985! If you surround yourself with positive music and positive people trying to make a positive world, you cannot help but to stay positive!

Jeff Terranova, Feb '09,

www.smorgasbordrecords.com

Porcell

2008-09-23T12:37:00.000-07:00

There is another interview from Tim Osswald. Same like the last one (with CIA), this short chat with mr. Porcelly will appear in Tims new fanzine so please get a copy once it's out.
As you can see, Porcell won't talk much but stuff he says is pretty entertaining...

1. When did you start listening to hardcore and how did you get in contact with Straight Edge and Hardcore? What did it all mean to you in the beginning?

I started listening to punk and hardcore in about 1980. I was a pretty angry kid so bands like Black Flag and the Dead Kennedys were my outlet. Along the way, besides just the powerful music, I was drawn in by all the new ideas and messages of the lyrics.

2. Have you ever thought that the bands you used to play in (YOT, Judge, Bold,... ) will have such an impact on the hardcore scene? Have you ever thought you will be so "successful" with these bands and that the music and message will stand the test of time?

Honestly I can't believe that kids still remember bands I did literally 20 years ago. It's humbling actually. A lot of my high school friends went to college and went on to become very rich and materially successful, but I still wouldn't trade all the long drives in the back of smelly vans for anything.

3. In an older interview you said you were afraid of mike Judge because he was hanging out with some crucial looking skins at shows. When and how did you get in contact with him? And when did you become friends?

I first saw Mike at an Abused show, he was standing in the middle of the pit basically taking over the mosh, so yeah he was an intimidating character. I didn't become friends with him till years later when I moved to New York and basically met him at a record store. He liked Youth of Today a lot and was super straight edge so we hit up a friendship.

4. Is there one special memory about Mike Judge stuck to your mind?

If he was your friend, he was the nicest guy in the world that would literally do anything for you. If you were his enemy, he'd attack you relentlessly. That's just the way the guy was.

5. Whose idea was it to shoot the „No More" video? Who came up with all the input (what has to be in the video and the story... ) and do you have any memories about it?

The label we were on at the time, Caroline, gave us a video advance, and we had no idea what to do with it. We thought videos were cheesy but if we could do one promoting vegetarianism, it would be cool. The guy that recorded Break Down the Walls had a video team that was way less than professional, basically he conned us into thinking he knew what he was doing and made a pretty amateurish video, although I think it's kind of cool for what it was.

6. Speaking about the live sequences of the „No More" shooting... was it really just one song in between a GB set? How often did play the song or was it just one take and that's it? Do you have any memories about the show?

We played the song about 3 times and it was complete chaos. I broke the singer for Wide Awake's nose in the first 10 seconds by accidentally hitting him full on with my guitar and he moshed with blood streaming down his face the whole time.

7. I guess going to shows at CBGBs in the mid 80's was kinda dangerous? Do you have any memories about hanging out on the LES and at CBGBs? One special show and moment that sticks out above the rest?

The lower east side was dangerous back then, which was kind of the appeal for me. I grew up living a very sheltered life in the upper middle class suburbs so I wanted a little danger and adventure in my life when I moved out. The hardcore scene was very much a big family back then though, so people looked out for each other. Punk was a very small microcosm in NY so everyone banded together pretty tightly.

8. When and where did you meet the New York Kids such as Harley, JJ, Raybies? Did you get along with them right from the start and what where you thinking of them in the beginning?

Violent Children played with the Cro Mags before they even had a demo out, so me and Ray met Harley early on but we were just acquaintances, not really close friends. Raybeez on the other hand was always hanging out and we became close with him. I remember he came to CBGB's once and declared himself straight edge, drew an x on his hand and put 7 Seconds on the boom box he was carrying around, it was awesome. That guy had style.

9. There aren't too many stories and informations about bands such as Skinhead Youth or Altercation?

Have you ever attended shows by these bands and how did they turn out? Do you have any memories about these bands? Walter said in older interview „Altercation" is one of the most underrated bands... what were you thinking about them?

I saw one of Skinhead Youth's only shows, it was my first real CBGB's "hardcore matinees. " The bill was Agnostic Front, Skinhead Youth, Death Before Dishonor (Mike Judge's first band), and Balls (Don Fury's band). Raybeez sang and he was saying all this racist stuff between songs so we were always really wary of him, but in his defense Raybeez definitely had a change of heart somewhere down the line and was very outspoken against hate and racism when Warzone started. Altercation were one of the most underrated bands out of that scene. They were great and I got to see them a bunch of times, although they broke up pretty quickly since the 2 main kids joined Warzone. Try to track down their demo, it smokes.

10. How do you feel when you see kids today dressing like you were dressed 20 years ago..... varsity jackets, retro sneakers, crew cut (to be honest, i love the look)! Do you think that you started something back then that became some sort of „history"!?

It was weird, we never really tried to come up with this whole "youth crew" style, it was just how we dressed since we were part punks, part jocks. I remember it being kind of strange when YOT started getting really popular around 1988 or so and seeing kids in the crowd with pos tops and Champion hooded sweatshirts. Who would've thought?

11. Who came up with the Batman stamp on the CCME 7inch? What's the inside-story?

That was the Some Records pressing. Kevin Seconds sent us a few boxes of 7 inches, which we were going to sell exclusively through Some Records (a cool record store on the Lower East Side), so to differentiate them we marked them with the Batman stamp and wrote a bunch of stuff on the inside of them.

12. Who drew the „Xed Fist" that appears on many shirts (break down the walls shirt, recent reprints....)? Who came up with the design?

It was actually this kid named Herbie Straight Edge from the early Anthrax days. He had drawn it on the back of his jacket and when he broke edge, he gave it to Cappo. We always loved it so we adopted it as a Youth of Today logo.

13. Who came up with the Term „Youth Crew"? Was it used as a term before the song „youth crew" even existed? Are you „proud" of being one of the first kids who came up with the term that is used to describe an entire music genre and movement??

The person that came up with it was this kid named Ratboy from Connecticut, he wrote the lyrics to that song actually. It's funny, he got out of hardcore pretty early on and moved to NY and got way into the electronic dance music scene so he knew nothing about hardcore or Youth of Today after about 1985. He myspaced me last year and I told him that Youth Crew had become a classic term to describe positive straight edge hardcore worldwide now, and he said "I can't believe it, I wrote that song in 10 minutes!"

14. Did you get shit for being such an outspoken Straight Edge band by other NY bands in the beginning?

Very early on, there was absolutely no straight edge in NYC and most people in the scene were addicted to drugs and alcohol, to the point where we though we'd get our asses kicked for putting x's on our hands. Somehow or other a huge straight edge scene emerged out of it all though, so the idea got popular very quickly.

15. Your first Violent Children Show was with AF, CFA and Mobys band! Do you have any memories about the show? How did the show turn out? How was it playing with bands in AF..... did you get along with all of them?

That was before I was in the band. I joined after they had recorded the 7 inch. Youth of Today's first show was also with AF though, they were always awesome people and completely supportive of us.

16. Is Never Surrender still around? What's up with it and are there any other projects you're involved in? And what's up with „Last Of The Famous"?

Both Never Surrender and Last of the Famous broke up. I'm kind of retired now, but you never know when I may surprise you guys again!

Bjorn Dossche

2008-08-26T09:53:00.000-07:00

November 12th, 1995. I still remember this day as if it were yesterday. I was a 15 year old kid that had been listening to hardcore music for a few years and slowly got into the more underground side of things. When I discovered that there were hardcore, and even straight edge, bands in the small country I lived in I knew I had to see what that was all about. So on November 12th, 1995, I went to see Congress in a town close to the one I grew up in and what I witnessed that night made such an impression on me that I am still here 13 years later. I was nervous and didn't quite know how to behave, as I seemed to have stumbled into this hidden world... But when Congress took the stage my mind was blown. The dudes on stage were the same dudes that were hanging out in the crowd an hour earlier. But they were up there now, stomping and screaming and the kids were screaming right back at them. The room was filled with an incredible energy, passion and urgency. There was an intensity there that I had never felt. No barricades, no bullshit. Just the band, a small stage and the kids. I knew that this was what I had been looking for. From there on, there was no way back for me. I started visiting more and more shows and immersed myself in hardcore and everything that came with it.

Growing older I have realized it is far from perfect. I know I could complain all day and night and become jaded easily because of the things that bother me, or even sicken me, but why would I want that to happen? In a lot of ways hardcore is also what you make of it and I'll never forget what it's given to me.

So what makes it so important to me? It is so important because every now and again it still gives me something that comes close to that feeling I felt on November 12th, 1995. It is so important because I has enabled me to meet like minded individuals, people I can relate to and talk to. Some of them have become my best friends, while others I only see maybe once or twice a year, but whatever, what matters is the connection that is there. It so important because it has shown me that we are so much more than what we've been told we can be. We can do bands, jump in a van and tour the world if we work hard enough to get there. We can do fanzines, put on shows and create something with our bare hands. We can think for ourselves, offer some reason and a strong, independent mind to a world that seems to have lost all sense of reason, a world that doesn't make much sense to me.

"I'll live and I'll die, but I won't be the same."

Bjorn, August '08

Ian Wiles

2008-08-20T08:19:00.000-07:00

As you get older in hardcore the natural reaction is to slowly step away and let the new 'generation' take over. I feel that to a certain extent and its something that been on my mind for the past year. Why still book shows? start a new band? release records? Honestly - hardcore isnt the be all and end all of my exsistence as it was 5 years ago but as long as Im still inspired I will be involved.

I still have that all important sense of belonging and the feeling that you can do postiive things. Its about getting that delivery of a thousand new records and working out how to sell them. Its also the total freedom that is jumping in a van and going on tour.

Most of my closest friends I have met through hardcore. A lot of people have 'moved on' and wonder what im still doing being as involved as I am but this has been the basis of my life for the past 14 years and I owe hardcore everything. The cheap ego boosts of the label, bands and shows are nice dont get me wrong. But thinking about hardcore - whats most important? the people i care for wh are know friends for life.

p.s the straight edge

Ian D&G, August '08

Corey aka CIA

2008-08-16T12:54:00.000-07:00

A good friend of mine, Tim Osswald, is in the process of making another zine. He was kind enough to offer some of his interviews to post over here... So mad props to Tim for doing this and please make sure you pick up his fanzine once it's out. It will rule I'm sure. He's an awesome kid with a lot of love for the core. Recognize it.

Mr. Williams one more time. There is a great piece he wrote about hardcore somewhere below. Now, Tim asked Corey about his past bands, current ones and hardcore in general.

1.Alright, here we go with some nostalgic stuff...when and how did you discover Hardcore? What was your first contact with real „Hardcore“?
CIA- Well through skateboarding I got into hardcore when I was 13. I moved to a new town and all the skaters listened to hardcore and thrash. I had already been listening to Anthrax but that was my connection with these kids. YOT, Suicidal, Minor Threat and I was hooked.

2.What has stoked you on hardcore in the beginning?
CIA- The fact that no one else knew what it was and that it was ours. Something that made it feel like a family.

3.When and how did you get in contact with Straight Edge? Have you ever taken drugs in your life?
CIA- Well I knew about it right off the bat but wasn’t sure if it was for me . Most edge kids seemed kind of arrogant. I tried weed cuz some super hot older girl wanted to hang out and try it. So I said fuck it im down lets go, well it freaked me out and I never did it again. Well after being into HC for a few years at this point I decided that the edge was the right path for me.

4.You're not „Youth Crew“ anymore (i'm not either..haha). What does core, straight edge n stuff means to you at the moment? Does it still have the same impact on your life like it had maybe 10-15 years ago?
CIA- Na its still the same shit to me. I never felt like it was something that we needed to educate people with. To be honest I don’t want everyone in the world into what I’m into. I feel everyone should be into whatever the fuck they wanted and just be open minded to others in regards to their life choices as long as it doesn’t interfere with your life.

5.Who were the first kids you hung out with in the beginning....and with whom of the kids do you still hang out with today?
CIA- My buddy Greg was the first kid I met when I got into core and I still hang with him today. But at first it was the kids from Eyelid and Strife. I still hang with Andrew from Strife. But now I hang with Donnybrook, Alpha & Omega and all the dudes from all my bands mostly.

6.Was Carry On your first serious band or were there any bands before Carry On? When and how did everything got started with CO?
CIA- It was my first serious core band but before that me and Todd Jones had a band called Stand Your Ground and that was our first HC band. I was second round CO. First line up was the guys on the Stabbed in the Face 7”. Before that record was released everyone but Ryan and been kicked out. So I was next.

7.Looking back....would you say, Carry On (amongst the bands you played in)was the band that had the biggest impact on the hardcore scene? Carry On was kinda huge.....
CIA- Yeah I guess but IA has done more and actually lives up to everything we say or sing about. Carry On was a great band that was tarnished by bullshit. It has its place in my heart but I have no connection with anyone from that band so fuck it. IA is real.

8.When Carry On was starting, what did you have in mind for the band to accomplish?
CIA- HC sucked in cali at the time. It was all wack ass metal bullshit so we wanted kids to hear HC the way it was meant to be played, in the traditional way. That was it man to be honest. No one liked us till it was over and that’s the bummer about it.

9.What was the first Carry On show you've ever played and which bands were on the bill? How did the show turn out?
CIA- It was some new years day fest. It was No Replys first show. Lifes halt played, Death By Stereo and Collision. I don’t really remember much else.

10.Please tell us a Carry On story stuck to your mind!
CIA- We played in Santa Cruz with never agents and no reply and me todd and ryan fought the whole show. Maybe not the whole show but I knocked out like 4 guys and Ryan beat a bunch of dudes up. The 3 of us showed that LA wasn’t a joke hahaha.

11.Who came up with the idea of the „Re-Union“ shows and have you ever thought it's gonna be that great? Did you enjoy playing the shows?
CIA- Well for one it wasn’t a reunion, it was a last show. We kind of just dissolved and disappeared cuz ryan is a sellout. After 2 years I wanted my last show. I got robbed of all my hardwork. So me and Todd talked about it and it happened. We didn’t sell any merch and instead of getting paid we just had a big guest list to get all of our friends in for free.

12.How often have you been on tour through the US.....and why have you never toured Europe with CO?
CIA- We were supposed to tour Europe but Ryan sold out. We never toured the US. We did 2 west coast tours and 2 east coast tours.

13.What was the first IA show? Do you you have any memories about the show?
CIA- Na I just remember having a crazy asthma attack and we done after like 5 minutes hahahaha. I don’t even remember who played.

14.How came you switched from playing guitar (in CO) to rocking the mic (in IA)? Did you get bored playing guitar?
CIA- Not at all. I said that if I was ever to be in an edge band ever again I would have to sing so that way I knew some loser couldn’t ruin my name again. Haha I sing like shit but at least I look cool doing it.

15.You had some issues with your Van when you were on tour on the east coast with IA (i think it was 3 years ago)...your van broke down and you had to stay on the east coast...please tell us the story...what happened back then and what was the end of the story?
CIA- This summer it will almost be 4 years. Well our van broke down and Jorge from Merauder took us into his home. It was fuckin awesome, he took care of us like family. We did all kinds of DMS activities and shit. At the same time was hellfest so we just partied with Donnybrook, Merauder and all kinds of super ignorant dudes. We beat up all kinds of nazi’s. Bad Luck 12 Riot Extravaganza played their last show and that was fuckin insane. I beat a kid with half of a pigs skull hahahah. That’s the basics hahaha.

16.Please tell us the Story about the „famous“ show in Hollywood at the Whiskey w. Terror, Born from Pain and you guys (there was one more band i think!).
CIA- The Promise and Shattered Realm also played. Basically a bouncer stole money from the Promise and bouncers were treating kids like shit so we beat the fuck out of everyone that worked there. All the bouncers got bounced. The promoters got whooped. We had the entire street shut down. 2 helicopters came, and I think it was something like 26 cop cars. The venue was shut down for like a month. Fuck that place I hope it burns down again.

17.You were touring Japan w. Internal Affairs last year for the first time. What was the weirdest experince you had over there?
CIA- yeah man Japan was fuckin amazing! All the autographs was weird but its different there than it is here so its cool. If an American wants an autograph and you are older than 14 I aint giving it to you haha but over there its just the way it is.

18.How did the shows turn out? I've neve been there and i don't know any people who have toured Japan yet...so i have no clue about Japan and hardcore!
CIA- Its an incredible hardcore scene. Pretty much as big as most places in Europe or the US. We had a show that supposedly had more kids than AF in Sapporo. Our Tokyo show had about the same amount of kids as the terror show I was at in Tokyo like 3 years ago.

19.What keeps you running IA and touring with the band? Where do you take the strength from not to quit singing and playing shows?
CIA- To be honest it’s the only thing that consistently brings happiness to my life. Girlfriends come and go and unfortunately sometimes so do friends. Band members come and go but its my band so I’ll do whatever I have to to play shows and tour. See the world is the greatest thing on earth and being able to meet amazing people that are into the same things I am on the other side of the world is an incredible feeling.

20.Has playing in bands (Carry On, IA) opened new doors for you....on a musical and personal level? Does playing in bands have a positive impact on your life?
CIA- Yeah man if I didn’t have music I would be probably be in jail or something. I am a pretty angry guy more or less and this shit makes me happy. I would be so fuckin miserable without my bands.

21. Do you think hardcore music today still has an impact on peoples' behaviour and the way they act? Maybe in a more responsible way.....
CIA- Hardcore allows people to act in ways that normal society would not approve of so def not more responsible. There is no other walk of life where you can beat the shit out of someone and no one will call the cops. Its almost like an ancient way of life where it truly is eye for an eye.

22.What do you think is the worst trend in todays' hardcore scene?
CIA- I don’t know man everyday is a new one. I judge every book by its cover. Everyone is guilty till proven innocent in my eyes. I just hate looking at people. It would be one thing if you’re an individual and you are really making a statement with the way you look, but that’s not the case. Everyone is cookie cutter robots. No one has a personality, no one can think for themselves.

23.What do you love so much about todays' hardcore scene? Why is Hardcore the best (and we know it is the best) style of music you can get out there?
CIA- Its great cuz its mine, its yours…it’s the only music you can say is a part of you. I love new bands. I love the new breed bringing something new like Alpha & Omega or Violation. New bands showing the old guys they can do it too.

24.Lyrically IA deals with lots of different themes...some of your lyrics are pretty much „in your face“...sometimes a bit aggro! Did you often get into trouble when you were younger?
Is hardcore just the perfect way to release the anger?
CIA- Yeah I always got into trouble as a kid. I think people just make me fuckin sick. My lyrics are writing from an older guys perspective, yeah some of them are just ignorant as fuck but we are the band that older dudes love and guys in bands really appreciate.

25.How and where did you grow up? And what was the best experience you've ever had in your childhood?
CIA- I grew up in a shitty town called Moorpark, all we did was get arrested for fighting and stealing cuz there was nothing else. Then I moved to Thousand Oaks where I got into HC and met a lot of the people I am friends with today.

26.The last time i saw you live in the states you banned some „moves“ from hardcore shows!
CIA- Yeah I hate how when kids dance or mosh or slam or whatever you want to call it all look the same. Have some fun with it, moshin is a feeling, a release to the music. So if you look like everyone else im gonna make fun of you. Possibly blast you for being stupid.

27. As we grow older we start to see things different then we did some years ago. Plus, there are forces from the outside pulling kids away from the „scene“. How do you manage not being pulled away from the hardcore scene and hardcore lifestyle?
CIA- Well I definitely see things way differently now than I did then. When you are 16 you see everything for face value and and don’t understand all the ups and downs of reality. People leave the scene for many reasons, no need to talk shit about them for it. If its for the wrong reason then we are better off without them. Im still here cuz I have been able to balance my personal life with my HC life.

28.You've been around for such a long time now and you've seen people and trends come and go. Where do you see the main difference between the early days when everything got started for you and today? Is there a lack of attitude in todays' scene?
CIA- When I got into HC it was strictly for the kids who didn’t belong anywhere else. Now it’s the cool hip thing, so that’s why we see so many more fucked up trends and weird shit. I liked it better when everyone was ugly as fuck and couldn’t care less what they were wearing haha.

29.What values, in hardcore and life in general, do you consider to be the most important.
CIA- Honesty and Loyalty. Everyone gets caught up in lies and therefore end up disloyal to their friends and loved ones.

30.Which behaviours of other band members bother you most when you're on tour?
CIA- Nothing really man, I have the group of dudes. Even when we have fill in’s. I guess some dudes snore so sleeping gets hard sometimes hahaha.

31.Who is the one who gets the most tel-numbers by groupies and who's the one who always miss out? Hook us up with some groupie stories!
CIA- Oh man this is rough hahaha. Well I have had a girlfriend most of the time so I was good. As of now I guess me and Andy but I think I seal the deal better. But we aren’t Motley Crue or anything so we don’t have groupies and shit hahahaha. I have seen and witnessed some pretty insane shit though., gangbangs and orgies and all kinds of wild shit that I thought only existed on the internet hahaha.

32.What's up with your haircut? Sometimes you have a good clean cut and sometimes you're bald like Kojack! What does the girls like more?
CIA- Girls def like the high n tight. I just get tired of getting hair cuts every week so I buzz it off. I try to keep the hair for the ladies, plus it makes my mom happy.

33.What's up with Triumvir/Tradition clothing? do they sponsor IA?
CIA- Yeah we are sponsored by both. Tradition is an amazing clothing store owned by the guitar player from Strife. He has the best gear and sneakers. As for Triumvir, Andrew from Strife hooked it up. They make amazing gear and hook us up to rock it on stage around the world so that’s exactly what we do. www. triumvir. com

34.How would you describe Los Angeles and LAHC to the kids in europe who haven't experienced Los Angeles yet? Do you like LA or would you rather like to live anywhere else?
CIA- I could never live anywhere else except maybe Sydney Australia. LAHC has amazing bands but really no venues to play at. Its real, if we say something then we do it. No bullshit here and that’s what I love about it. Its dirty and real.

35.When will you be seen in one of the LA Ink episodes....or are you still going to Spotlight Tattoo?
CIA- FUCK THAT PLACE! Spotlight till the day I die. I have the Spotlight family crest tattooed on my thumb. That broad jocks the dudes at spotlight. Bryan Burk, Marco, Juan, Baby Ray, Steve, Charlie and Bob are fuckin great.

36. Yo...that's it! Thanks for the chat! Any final raps?
CIA- Get into Alpha & Omega!!!!

PS. New IxA record just came out. Please pick it up cos it kills. Order from Revlation or go to see them playing Sep 2nd.

www.myspace.com/internalxaffairs

Pete Abordi

2008-05-30T14:30:00.000-07:00

At first when i sat down to write what "the essence" of hardcore meant to me i couldnt come up with anything.I had to dig a little deeper to really understand what this crazy music has done to me.

See, as cheesy as it sounds, hardcore is my life.

Through hardcore i met my partner who i will be with until the day that i die, i made choices in my life that will not only keep me fit and healty but also out of trouble(iam straightedge and vegetarian and still going strong), i have traveled around my country more times than i could ever count and i have travelled overseas (New Zealand, Europe and soon the USA), and i have met people that have gone on to become life long friends.

I became involved in hardcore at quite an early age(12), and i guess no one really knows what they want at that age, but from the first show i attended (Toe To Toe playing in my hometown, Maroubra Beach!)i was fucking hooked. Not only did i feel a conection with the music that i thought was a perfect combination of the punk and metal i was listening too, but i felt a connection with the other people at the show.We had something in common, and as the years go on, those things that we have in common may become smaller and smaller, but every now and then i will still meet a person, and have a straight up connection with them like we grew up in the same house (whats up Todd!)My friends that i grew up with that grew out of punk/hardcore still cant believe that i listen /play the same shit that we used to listen to as kids.But i am a part of something that they will never understand, and thats ok.

I am out of step with 99.9% of the human population and i wouldnt have it any other way.

Pete BID, May '08

Brian Murphy

2008-05-15T07:27:00.000-07:00

"You can be from japan or you can be from europe, it's a way of life. As long as you keep it real and you do it from your heart, that's being hardcore. It ain't a pair of jeans that make you hardcore, you know baggy jeans or a hardcore shirt. It's a way of life."

Driving an incredible amount of hours to see bands even if they were playing locally the next week. Doing this every weekend for years.

Renting a van to pile in a bunch of friends to go record backups in DC. 9 hours later, dealingwith "no fun" people and having people kicked out of the YMCA because swimming in white boxers is not "family appropriate".

Driving to Wilkes Barre (or flying into Scranton after a traveling work week) to sit in a tent and bullshit with friends while a million bands play to a million kids. All the while, sweating todeath from just sitting, but still finding the energy to go crazy for favorite bands.

Staying up all night throwing cards, listening to Raw Deal and Breakdown arguing over which is better. Walking home while the sun is coming up knowing the same thing will happen the next weekend.

Weekly to daily trips to the post office for another record trade. Waiting for the postman to show up.

Crashing on floors in California, DC, New York, Seattle, New Jersey, Montreal, Toronto, Vegas, Michigan, New Orleans, ...

Flying to the west coast to ride around in a van with your best friends while they play awesomes hows from San Diego to Seattle. Seeing people again for the first time in over 5 years and knowing the laughs and fun never left.

Driving from Boston to California in 42 hours. Passing 18 wheelers like they were standing still. Listening to h2o until it wore out. Driving a classic car and later riding in a tow truck from California to Boston in triple the time of the start trip.

Knowing how to stage dive. Realizing how poorly I execute them. Continuing to stage dive anyway.

Realizing that drinking and drugs suck and that shit needs to get cut out. Never looking back with regret. Never looking back.

Making life long friends from every part of the globe. Knowing they'll be there for you no matter what life throws.

B. Murphy, '08

Mark Boardman

2008-05-14T10:31:00.000-07:00

when I got into hardcore it wasn't something you could find on the Internet....well the Internet didn't existing....it wasn't something you could find in HMV. it was something you had to search for. it took dedication and a hell of a lot of stamps and trips to the post office.I got into hardcore with my brother and my mates. We were into Biohazard and dog eat dog. then sick of it all. we saw Strife support SOIA in January 1995 at Bradford Rio's. I was wasted and had no idea what straight edge even was. but something clicked inside me during the intro to "through and through" rick rodney came out and busted a backflip and started going off his head. I was hooked.

Within 2 months I'd given up drinking and was actively searching every single piece of hardcore music I could find.

Over the next 13 years I did bands, drove around the country in vans and hoped on planes. all to watch hardcore bands. it was amazing. but it wasn't easy. I had a wife, a baby, a job and a mortgage. most people my age were still at University, going out at the weekend and wasting their lives away while i was going to places I would never have seen without hardcore. I was meeting people I would never have met without hardcore. some of those people are still my very best friends. I know I can turn up in places most people haven't even thought of going to and know I'd have a floor to kip on.

While I'm not as involved in hardcore as much as I once was, it still has a big part in my life. It has taught me values that I still hold onto. I've made mistakes. I wish that I would have held somethings in a higher regards but for better or for worse hardcore has made me who I am.

I owe hardcore my life.

Breadman NXVI, '08

Shawn Zappo

2008-05-03T03:18:00.000-07:00

For me getting involved with hardcore punk among other things was a pivotal turning point in my life. I could have just as easily went down the path of the norm. Luckily I was heavily influenced when I was a kid by my older cousin Brian. He had introduced me to Hip Hop and Breakdancing in 1984. This was around the time when Hip Hop was starting to get big in the mainstream and filtering down to us suburbanites. With movies like Wild Style, Beat Street and Breakin' as well as Hip Hop radio shows I was quickly becoming a devotee of all that was Hip Hop. But the breakdance boom that took place in suburbs was a bit short lived and quickly around the corner was skateboarding for me and my friends.

There was a local pool in a neighborhood across the highway from where I lived where the older generation would have intense skate sessions. I was initiated into the fold thanks to my cousin and along with the skateboarding subculture came punk rock. One of the first tapes I got was The Repo Man soundtrack which had Fear, Suicidal, Circle Jerks and Black Flag among others on it. I never heard anything like this music and was blown away. It seemed the perfect soundtrack for skating and my ever growing distaste for the status quo. Soon I heard of more bands from a local skater Skinhead Fred. He turned me onto Nuclear Assault, Lethal Aggression, Dead Kennedy's, Celtic Frost and many others.

Soon after I started skating I got into surfing as well. After a surf session at our local break my cousin flipped me off Dag Nasty's Can I Say. Once I heard that record I became very interested in what the East Coast had to offer in the way of Hardcore/Punk. Soon I had tapes by Bad Brains, Minor Threat, Cro Mags, Youth of Today, Underdog, Sick of it All, Crippled Youth and Gorilla Biscuits to name a few. The East Coast style seemed to be something I liked a lot more compared to the west coast.

But beyond the sound of the music was the message. I was introduced to alternative ways of thinking and lifestyles. Whether it was straight edge, different forms of Spirituality, the vegetarian diet, leftist political views (for lack of a better term, etc, etc. All this along with my still budding love of Hip Hop such as BDP and Public Enemy would be the ingredients for a social outcast in the making.

So to get to the question...Hardcore is important to me because it opened my eyes to life beyond the suburbs and the television set. It showed me that all the things I was feeling were not strange, there was a whole subculture of people who felt just like me. The American dream wasn't my dream and life seemed to be a joke as you became an adult. I looked around at all the adults around me and realized I could never be happy living their lifestyle. Working a soul killing job, being a numb minded follower where the only pleasure seemed to fade away into television fantasies, booze or to consume, consume, consume. I was more excited about being creative. Reading, writing, music, skating, surfing, etc. These were the things that made life beautiful and interesting to me.

Hardcore gave me the vision and the will to believe in myself. To look to myself as well as people I admired for inspiration. Not to the boring and sheep like mass cook cutter plastic people the media and popular culture were selling me. Hardcore to me is more then a sound of music, a social circus, a youth subculture, a style, etc. It's a state of mind, a consciousness, a way of being, a way of life and a general awareness of what is happening around you.

I continue to take part in hardcore as I approach 34 through writing, music and other avenues. The reason I do so is because it is part of me, it is part of who I am. I also want to give back to something that has given so much to me. If I can give just one person out there an alternative to the deathstyle of modern civilization I have done my part. I love hardcore because when society wouldn't...Hardcore showed me love.

Shawn Z, April '08

Partick Kitzel

2008-05-03T03:00:00.001-07:00

Feel the burning fire inside of me

That's the only way i wanna be

Got fucking clear fucking thoughts and actions

I'll never put down my protection

Being drugged up and high for a while...

This is NOT my lifestyle

The EDGE...It's a dedication for Life!

WILD FIRE - Deep Inside

WILD FIRE - Until I die

(spawn. 1993)

Kitzel, April '08

Corey Williams

2008-04-13T11:41:00.001-07:00

Hardcore is the energy that keeps me alive. It has been in my life for over 15 years. It’s the first place that I found love outside my family. It’s passion, emotion, energy, loyalty, and reality. It’s one of the last places on earth where eye for an eye still holds true. We are our own judge and jury. It’s one of very few places where you can actually make a difference with the youth of today.

I’m not the most positive person, but I do see the good in things. If I didn’t have hardcore who knows what kind of piece of shit I would have turned into. It has been the greatest outlet for my anger and emotion. You can do so much in hardcore to contribute and take part to make it your own. You can’t do that with most walks of life.

Hardcore has introduced me to 99% of my friends. It has shown me love in the farthest corners of the world. Sweden, Guatemala, Japan, Australia, UK, France, Canada, Mexico, Holland, Poland, Germany, Belgium, Spain…I could go to any one of those places and feel at home thanks to hardcore.

All the time I hear young kids say hardcore is dead, it’s not like it used to be. It goes in phases cuz we have to cycle out the fakes and posers. I would rather there be less people who care than tons of people with no heart. I could almost say that I like today’s hardcore more than the early days. The music is amazing, it is so accessible and touring and being heard has never been easier. If I ever have children I will definitely try to pass this onto them.

CIA, April '08

Pat Bugajski

2008-04-13T08:05:00.000-07:00

The phenomenon of Hardcore is that either you love it and get what’s all about at once or you never will. You can’t learn Hardcore. You just have to be.

What’s really funny is that I still feel pretty same about many things the way I felt when I was a real youngster. What was lame back then to me, still is. What pissed me off then, makes me even fucking angrier today. What made me happy then, still makes me happy. Growing old never meant accepting bullshit to me. I can blame Hardcore for that, I guess. When I saw that there is the other way, I just can’t look the other way and say “aw, all right, whatever”.

I met my best friends through Hardcore. We could stay up late and talk about everything from records to shows to girls to conspiracy theories and what not. There were nothing like people I could meet at school or work. We had and still have the real conversations, not the small talks. And it still happens. Not that often as we all have less time or live far from each other but those moments is what I live for. The talks, the trips, the laugh.

As I grew older, so did the people around, the life turned an uglier face to us every once in a while. I was lucky to know that there is so much more out there than this stupid drama, soap opera, rat race type of shit. I heard so many stories from my workmates or relatives and bullshit situation they had to deal with and I was thinking “fuck, I just cannot imagine dealing with such stuff, it isn’t my world at all. Sometimes when I look at the people I can’t really relate to who are caught in the daily routines and never stop and think “what the fuck”, I think how lucky I am. I could end up frustrated and never satisfied but luckily I found home where I could sort my life out and get myself on the right track. Not that I have all the answers but at least I am happy to keep on searching.

I don’t really fancy many of the bands around today or the attitudes but on the other hand, I know that there are still people/bands out there who can make me feel good just because of who/what they are. I wouldn’t have a chance to find them anywhere else. And I can still have fun, learn and grow just because of having this opportunity. It was beacause of Hardcore that I dare to think that there are so many chances more than I was told.

And all that what makes it so important to me. Life is good.

Pat, April '08

pic by A. Kot

John McKaig

2008-04-10T11:21:00.001-07:00

Yeah, well, it sounds trite, but it's true ... of course hardcore is my life, my family. It gave me friends that I would die for if I needed to; it gave me experiences and allowed me to express myself in ways that I wouldn't have been able to otherwise; it means that I can tell people that before 1995 was over I had seen Gorilla Biscuits, Fuzazi, Cro-Mags, Earth Crisis, Sick Of It All, Agnostic Front, Damnation, Sensfield, Into Another, Outspoken, Unbroken, Judge, Turning Point, Shelter and so many others ... when hardcore wasn't the fashionable thing or the easy thing, when you had to really work at it even though you didn't feel like it was work, when you couldn't Mapquest the directions and go on a dozen websites and find out where every show is in seconds; it gave me new brothers and sisters in Rome, Helsinki, Copenhagen, Aukland, Barcelona, London, Japan, Brazil, Australia, Poland, Belgium, Germany and too many other places to list here - friends that are now my family and my "home" all over the world. The hardcore scene was and is what we wanted in the world, the thing that made sense to us, and only us.

When I'm at a hardcore show, and other kids are singing along to words as if their very lives depended on it, it's the feeling that you have when ... your soul has left your body and you have found the place where you belong; you have found the other souls that understand and accept and respect you for who you really are.

When I think about what my life would have been like had I not found a world-wide brother and sisterhood to belong to ... had I not by chance run into and met punk and hardcore kids in Syracuse that eventually changed my life, I feel sadness and pride - sadness for those who miss that chance and continue to live their lives in "quiet desperation", and pride for the family that we made and the lives we have changed - our lives, our family.

McKaig, April '08

pic by www.wolagiewicz.com

Jonathan Buske

2008-04-06T05:19:00.000-07:00

It's shown me to respect things I may not whole-heartedly agree with, it's shown me acceptance and tolerance. It's shown me love and affection for beings other than myself and it's shown me how to live a sensible life in a very corrupt and insensitive world.

Most importantly, hardcore has given me my life. My friends, family, values and love all come from this silly thing I have given myself to year after year.

Hardcore is who I am, it's not what I do.

Buske, March 08

pic by Matt Miller

Justin Moulder

2008-04-06T05:14:00.000-07:00

Hardcore is, was and always will be important to me for a lot of reasons. Its cliche to say that it changed my life and that I wouldn't be where I am with out it.

In my case its true. I wouldn't be married to a beautiful and amazing woman, wouldn't have the most beautiful kid you'll ever see and friends? Man, I can't imagine the morons I'd be friends with if I were not into the core.

I can remember many late nights in diners with friends in various locales, looking around at the people that were at parties all night and thinking, those dudes have no idea what they are missing and laughing about it all.
Hardcore is like a small social club of sorts for me, not in the frat boy sense but in the way we are in on a secret that a lot of people cannot fathom. If they only knew what kind of fun we had, the cross the world friends we've made. This would almost certainly be over for us. And though I don't go to shows really anymore and I am not into a lot of the current bands as much I used to be, it will always be not just what I do. Its who I am. And you know what?

I would not have it any other way.

J.Moulder, April 2008

Scott Vogel

2008-03-11T14:15:00.001-07:00

hardcore is truely everything to me and this is one life hc truely saved..............it has given me a home, a family , best friends, an outlet, let me travel the world, its let me be myself and always accepted me for who i am.....but mostly i am thankful for all the values and convictions it has taught me........thats what im most thankful for.....

scott v 2003

Chris Zusi

2008-03-11T14:05:00.001-07:00

"That’s actually a very good question, and probably something that a lot of people don’t think about and just take for granted. If I had to try to quantify it I’d say it’s the feeling of being a part of something special, something that was real. It’s like having this great secret that only you and a few other people know about. Back when I first got into hardcore, including me there were 3 kids in my high school (out of 1800 kids) that knew what hardcore was. You’d go to school on a Monday after a weekend of seeing Judge at the Anthrax and Agnostic Front at CB’s and just think to yourself “these kids have no idea what’s up”. I remember going back to school for senior year after Summer break – I had just been on a US tour for 3 weeks and these kids were talking about spending a week at the beach with their parents. Even though hardcore has gotten more exposure over the years, being involved in the scene has always given me that feeling of being like “I know something you don’t know”. To this day I could be at a sports event, wedding or some other public place and I’ll think to myself, “these people never saw the Cro-Mags, they have no clue”. "

Christopher Zusi 2003