Pat Bugajski

The phenomenon of Hardcore is that either you love it and get what’s all about at once or you never will. You can’t learn Hardcore. You just have to be.

What’s really funny is that I still feel pretty same about many things the way I felt when I was a real youngster. What was lame back then to me, still is. What pissed me off then, makes me even fucking angrier today. What made me happy then, still makes me happy. Growing old never meant accepting bullshit to me. I can blame Hardcore for that, I guess. When I saw that there is the other way, I just can’t look the other way and say “aw, all right, whatever”.

I met my best friends through Hardcore. We could stay up late and talk about everything from records to shows to girls to conspiracy theories and what not. There were nothing like people I could meet at school or work. We had and still have the real conversations, not the small talks. And it still happens. Not that often as we all have less time or live far from each other but those moments is what I live for. The talks, the trips, the laugh.

As I grew older, so did the people around, the life turned an uglier face to us every once in a while. I was lucky to know that there is so much more out there than this stupid drama, soap opera, rat race type of shit. I heard so many stories from my workmates or relatives and bullshit situation they had to deal with and I was thinking “fuck, I just cannot imagine dealing with such stuff, it isn’t my world at all. Sometimes when I look at the people I can’t really relate to who are caught in the daily routines and never stop and think “what the fuck”, I think how lucky I am. I could end up frustrated and never satisfied but luckily I found home where I could sort my life out and get myself on the right track. Not that I have all the answers but at least I am happy to keep on searching.

I don’t really fancy many of the bands around today or the attitudes but on the other hand, I know that there are still people/bands out there who can make me feel good just because of who/what they are. I wouldn’t have a chance to find them anywhere else. And I can still have fun, learn and grow just because of having this opportunity. It was beacause of Hardcore that I dare to think that there are so many chances more than I was told.

And all that what makes it so important to me. Life is good.

Pat, April '08

pic by A. Kot